How am I Doing?
by LGCoffeeAddict
Summary: Alex Karev had been a commitment-phobe since birth, and so he cut Addison loose after they slept together. But when he learns that she might leave for another job with people who weren't idiots like him, Addison becomes all he can think about.
1. Chapter 1

How Am I Doing?

A **Grey's Anatomy** fic by Gigi

**Disclaimer:** I hate to have to say it at the beginning of every fic, because it totally negates my philosophy of the power of positive thinking. If I constantly say I don't own Grey's Anatomy or Shonda-land, then how on Earth will I _ever_ come to own it?

Chapter 1: How am I Doing?

**A/N: I know, I know. I should be updating Perfume and Promises or The Best Man, or any other story instead of starting in on fic number 27. But I couldn't get this idea out of my head, and I always wanted to slap Alex in the face for doing this to Addison, and I just **_**miss**_** them. So please, humor me and read this. Don't rebel against the fact that I'm not updating the Paddison or Not-Addisex (exclusively) fics because I'm in an Addisex mood. Well, I'm really in a not-doing-homework mood, but this works, too. So please read and enjoy!**

"You're not my girlfriend."

Had he actually said that to her? To _her_? To Addison Forbes Montgomery? Did he really? _Seriously_?

Addison couldn't answer any of those questions rolling around in her mind. She was too busy trying to escape _him_ before she started either breaking down in front of him of going off on him.

He was babbling, but another phrase made its way through the haze in Addison's brain. "I just don't really have the time."

And the hits just kept on coming. Not only was he blowing her—_her!—_off, but he said he didn't have the _time_ for her!

_Asshole_, she thought to herself as she finally removed herself from the situation. Walking through the electric doors of the hospital, Addison turned around and looked at the tall, imposing, sterile building. _Asshole!_ she yelled internally once again. _Why the hell did he make me fall for him?_

Sighing, she turned back around and kept on walking, pulling her black coat tighter around herself.

**8D**

"You're not my girlfriend."

Had he actually said that to her? To _her_? To Addison Forbes Montgomery? Did he really? _Seriously_?

He caught a whiff of her perfume as she walked by him to leave. Alex turned his head a little to look after her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He knew she couldn't hear him, but it didn't change the fact that he was.

"What the hell was that?" Alex whipped his head back around to find a tall, imposing, Hispanic woman glaring down at him.

"Hey, Dr. Torres," he greeted, puzzled. How much did she hear? "What's up?"

"Cut the crap, Karev," Callie ordered, looking royally pissed off. "What the hell did you just do?"

"What do you mean?"

"What possessed you to be such a jerk to Addison?"

Shit. Alex dropped his eyes back to his notes. "So you saw that just now," he stated.

"Yeah, I did." Callie crossed her arms and kicked him softly in the shin so he would look up. "Alex, you _have_ to fix this," she declared.

"What do you mean I _have_ to fix this?" Callie seemed a little desperate now, as if it was something more than just what Alex did that had her worried about her best friend.

"I mean she's miserable here," she answered finally. She took a seat next to him—the seat Addison had just vacated. "She gets job offers all the time, and lately she's been seriously considering taking one of them. You were probably the one thing that kept her here, and now that you've totally screwed that up, there's nothing to keep her from leaving Seattle."

Alex's eyes grew wide. He'd never considered the possibility of not seeing her red hair or her long legs every day. "She can't go," he murmured in shock.

"She can and she will, Karev, if you don't fix things with her," she mandated in a low voice. "If you're the reason my best friend moves..." She took a breath to calm herself. "I break bones for a living, and I know how to make it look like an accident."

Strangely enough, Alex believed her threat. Struggling not to gulp, he nodded slowly.

**8D**

Alex had been tending to Ava all morning, but she was starting to bug him. All she wanted to talk about was Addison, but he didn't want to talk about anything. He couldn't even _find_ Addison, so what the hell was he supposed to tell Ava? That she kissed him and he blew her off? That they slept together and he blew her off again? That now, because of him, she might possibly be leaving Seattle?

Yeah, because that wouldn't be at all pathetic.

_Denny Duquette situation, my ass_, he thought bitterly. He looked up from his chart to the slumbering amnesiac. _More like a Meredith and Shepherd situation_.

Alex gave up trying to concentrate. There was no way he could focus today without at least _seeing_ Addison. Leaving Ava's room, he walked the five feet to the nurses station. "Have any of you seen Dr. Montgomery today?" he asked the nurses.

"Dr. Montgomery?" Alex turned around and saw the Chief standing there, looking confused. "Didn't she tell you?"

"Tell me what?" he questioned with a deep sense of dread.

"She left." There it was. Alex's heart sunk. "She asked for a leave of absence yesterday, said she was going to visit her friend's practice in LA. She's not going to be here all week."

Oh. Okay. So she hadn't _left_ left. She just left to go to a place where "left" might _become_ "_left_ left."

And now he had to wait a week to talk to her. Now she had a week to completely remove him from her mind. Now he had a week to stew, and she had a week to hate him.

"I hate LA," he muttered.

**A/N: So what do you think? It's not the longest, but it's a start. Review!**


	2. How was LA?

How Am I Doing?

A **Grey's Anatomy** fic by Gigi

**Disclaimer:** I hate to have to say it at the beginning of every fic, because it totally negates my philosophy of the power of positive thinking. If I constantly say I don't own Grey's Anatomy or Shonda-land, then how on Earth will I _ever_ come to own it?

Chapter 2: How was LA?

**A/N: Okay, so apparently, I like to have themes in my chapter titles. Perfume and Promises chapters are all Idina songs, so how about these chapter titles all be questions? Nice. **

**A/N 2: Oh, yeah, sorry about the long wait and stuff. I'm writing this when I should be studying for finals, so yeah, be happy.**

A week.

It had officially been one week. Seven days, she had been gone. Eight days since he last saw her, since he last held her, kissed her, did a few other things to her, and most importantly, rejected her.

Now, Alex Karev paced the NICU, periodically checking the numerous beeping baby monitors, while he waited for his boss to finally make an appearance. Over this week, he had contemplated what exactly he would say to her, what he would do, and he still hadn't come up with anything. Should he hug her? Kiss her? Twirl her around and propose to her? What the hell could he do to make her believe him enough to stay?

He heard her long before the door to the NICU opened. Her telltale high heels clicked along the hallway floor and exuded confidence just from the way the stilettos hit the tile and sent echoes throughout the hospital—everybody knew that Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery was back.

When the door finally creaked open, Alex stopped pacing, subconsciously smoothing out the imaginary wrinkles on his white lab coat. Addison hair swung in front of her face as she ducked into the NICU, and she didn't even notice Alex in the room, too preoccupied with making sure neither Mark nor Derek was following her.

Alex's ears caught the faint "Mule-headed buffoons," she mumbled under her breath before she turned around and finally saw him standing there. "Dr. Karev," she greeted professionally. He couldn't tell completely, but he thought he saw a hint of pink color her cheeks.

"Dr. Montgomery," he responded with a smile. He walked toward her, making as if to hug her amiably – until her hand shot out in front of them. Alex's eyes fell toward the offending appendage, and he repressed the urge to flinch as he enveloped her hand in both of his, shaking with one hand and stroking the top of hers with the other. "How was LA?"

Her pale blue eyes had noticeably less stress in them, but he still hoped she would slump her shoulders and declare that LA had absolutely nothing to compare with Seattle, not the work, not the sights, not the men. But instead, a small, relaxed grin graced her features. "LA was different," she answered. "It was nice."

That last statement scared the wits out of Alex, so instead he focused on the fact that he still held her soft hand in his and the fact that she hadn't made any motion to change that. There was hope yet…hopefully.

At last, Addison seemed to notice his thumb gently stroking the skin on the back of her hand and almost jolted out of his grip. "So has the NICU become your favorite hangout, now?" she asked tentatively, moving to check on her tiny patients.

"Kind of, yeah," Alex affirmed. He followed behind her and lowered his voice. "Some pretty good memories happened in here." He heard her breathing hitch ever so slightly. "Besides, it's quiet and I can actually get work done in here."

"Admit it, Karev," Addison demanded lightly, smiling into her chart. "You like being around babies."

"I really, really don't," Alex replied vehemently, "not twenty-nine-year-old ones, anyway."

The obvious disgust in his voice for his fellow interns surprised Addison. What had happened in the week she had been away? "And newborns?" she insisted.

Alex hesitated. He really didn't mind them, but he never knew if it was because he thought the babies themselves were cute or if it was just that he associated them with the redhead standing not two feet away from him. "They're cute, I guess," he mumbled in defeat. Might as well make her happy.

Addison turned her head to look back at her intern with a genuine smile. "I always knew you secretly enjoyed my service," she declared in such a way that Alex couldn't help but smile back. They stood there for a few seconds, smiling at each other, until Addison once again realized their proximity. "Anyway, you've done an excellent job with these little ones, Karev." She looked back down at the chart in her hands and resumed her professional voice. Putting the chart back on its rack, she stuck her stethoscope in her ears and listened to the baby's heartbeat. "But why doesn't this chart have a last name?"

"That's Ava's baby," Alex supplied. Addison's hand jerked away from the baby's chest by a millimeter before she caught herself, causing Alex's eyebrows to climb up into his hairline. What was that about? "Is anything wrong?"

She removed the stethoscope from her ears and braved a less genuine smile this time. "Nope, everything is just fine," she maintained. "Will you schedule an abdominal CT on Baby Carver? He has some distension in his stomach, and I just want to make sure he doesn't become another Laura Grey."

"Rushed into another surgery after almost dying in delivery?" Alex finished her thought.

"Exactly. Thank you, Dr. Karev." Addison handed him Carver's chart and watched him retreat from the room. Sighing, she went to sit down in the rocking chair in the corner of the NICU. She buried her face in her hands. _Damn it, Addison. He already said he didn't want you—twice, _she berated herself. _Stop reading so much into his actions otherwise you'll ruin whatever relaxation you managed to achieve in LA!_

**8D**

Alex stood in line for CT with the baby warmer by his side when Callie approached him. "Karev, have you done what I told you to do a week ago?" she demanded as quietly as possible. Debbie was about twenty feet away.

Alex's head whipped around to stare at Callie O'Malley incredulously. "I'm working on it," he replied succinctly.

"Well, hurry your ass up about it, Karev," Callie hissed menacingly. "And ask her what went down in LA while you're at it. Maybe that'll wake you up to just how close my best friend is to leaving Seattle!" With that, she walked away, leaving a confused, slightly distressed Alex Karev at the head of the line for CT.

**A/N: Okay, so it isn't the longest chapter. I just barely exceeded my minimum of 1000 words for my chapters. But I do feel like the writing was much stronger in this chapter than in the first one. What do you think? Remember, I'm in the middle of studying for finals so the fact that I'm even writing this is amazing. So REVIEW!**


	3. What Happened in LA?

How Am I Doing?

A **Grey's Anatomy** fic by Gigi

**Disclaimer:** I hate to have to say it at the beginning of every fic, because it totally negates my philosophy of the power of positive thinking. If I constantly say I don't own Grey's Anatomy or Shonda-land, then how on Earth will I _ever_ come to own it?

Chapter 3: What Happened in LA?

**A/N: Okay, so the fact that I haven't updated this since December is kind of depressing, but here's hoping you'll forgive me and not only read, but **_**review**_**, this chapter!**

"_Well, hurry your ass up about it, Karev," Callie hissed menacingly. "And ask her what went down in LA while you're at it. Maybe that'll wake you up to just how close my best friend is to leaving Seattle!" With that, she walked away, leaving a confused, slightly distressed Alex Karev at the head of the line for CT._

Alex paused in the hallway when he saw Addison standing at the counter of the nurses' station. She wasn't doing anything extraordinary – she just stood there and read a chart – but it was enough to make Alex swallow when he realized there was a real chance he wasn't going to be able to see her tuck that stray lock of red hair behind her ear when she leaned forward like that. He wasn't going to be able to smell her subtle, rose-scented perfume when he passed her, nor would he see that rare smile that lit up the room. Alex swallowed harder than he ever had in his time at Seattle Grace Hospital at the possibility of not seeing Addison Forbes Montgomery every day.

Kicking himself into gear, Alex approached the tall redhead with the CT scans on Baby Carver. "Hey," he called out in order to keep her from walking away from him without even knowing he was behind her.

Addison turned her head to look over her shoulder at the sound of his voice. A small smile spread on her lips almost as if she didn't notice it there, and she responded with a cool, "Dr. Karev, I was just about to start looking for you." She turned so her body faced him and held her hand out for the scans.

"Sorry," he apologized. "CT was backed up." Addison quirked an eyebrow at him and held the scans up to the light so she could see them better. "The good news is that the scans are normal, from what I can tell. Maybe Baby Carver just had a little bit of gas."

A small chuckle left Addison's throat as she sent him a disbelieving stare. "Carver's a day old, Karev. I doubt much gas really built up in his stomach that quickly," she pointed out. She returned the scans to the folder in which they were held and made as if to walk away until Alex gently grabbed her elbow and brought her back to him.

"What happened in LA?" he asked quietly. Addison's tiny smirk all faltered a little bit, and her eyes clouded over with all the confusion that came with an internal debate. Alex felt the blood drain out of his face when he realized what had happened in LA. They'd actually extended her an offer. Not only that, she was _seriously_ considering accepting. Now, more than ever, Alex needed to hear the details.

"LA was … different," she answered mysteriously.

Alex had no idea what possessed him to maintain that hold on her elbow and half-drag her into the nearest supply closet, but soon enough, he found himself almost nose-to-nose with his boss. "Look, you're my boss, and you're my teacher. How the hell am I supposed to learn from you or focus completely when I know there's a possibility that you could leave?" Addison's mouth dropped open ever so slightly. He could tell she was just itching to ask who had told him about the job offers. "Never mind how I know. What matters is that suddenly you're being all vague and suggestive about your little vacation, and if you have any chance of leaving, I deserve to know so that I can get out now before I become even more attached to you-your specialty, which soon might not be a specialty worth pursuing in this hospital." Alex stepped in closer, pressing Addison up against the door of the supply closet and never letting go of her elbow. "What the hell happened in LA?" he demanded quietly.

Addison's breathing became more erratic with every passing word, and at one point during his speech she even closed her eyes. What Alex misinterpreted as stubbornness was really her own difficulty containing and controlling herself. He was literally pushing her against the door, and if she looked up, her nose would touch his. She tried not to read too much into what Alex was saying, but her mind seemed determined to scan his words for subtext. There was a heat in his voice that she hadn't heard in quite a long time. In fact, the last time she heard that kind of suppressed emotion—lust, love, hatred, whatever it may be—was the time right after Ava's cesarean. The time she jumped him and pushed him into an on-call room. Testing the waters, she responded with a question of her own. She opened her clear blue eyes and looked into his chocolate brown ones and offered, "What part of my trip to LA do you want to know? Work or personal?"

"How about the two main events for both for starters?" Alex suggested, not moving from his position pressed up against her.

The waters revealed a little bit of red – he wanted to know about her personal life. Addison tilted her head to the side and acted as if she was aiming to make him uncomfortable, which she might have been doing. "Well, for work, I saved a pregnant surrogate mother and delivered her baby and was subsequently offered a job at my best friend's practice," she explained quickly.

"And personal?"

"There may have been a stolen five minutes in a stairwell with a certain member of said practice who got it in his head to make me feel better," Addison insinuated with a coy smile. _That _was_ one hell of a kiss_, she mentally added, relishing the memory of Pete's lips on hers. The man was a top-notch kisser, even if his entire work philosophy was that of the ducks: "Quack."

Alex's voice brought Addison out of her pleasurable reverie. "Why did he feel the need to make you feel better?" he growled, stamping down that green monster in his stomach that awoke when she mentioned the presence of another guy in her personal life. Not that he had any right to be jealous, considering he definitely gave up that right the second he dumped her for the second time.

Shaking her head, Addison's smile only grew wider. "Ah, ah, ah," she denied, lightly pushing against Alex's chest to move him far enough away for her to move. "Just the two main events, remember?" She twisted the doorknob behind her and whipped out of the supply closet.

"For starters!" he called after her.

Addison had her strut back, and she kept on walking down the hall as if she hadn't even heard him.

**A/N: Yeah, I know it's a little bit shorter, but it's something. I just didn't want to leave Spring Break behind without updating one of my Addex fics, and this was long overdue for an update. Now please don't be long overdue in REVIEWING.**


	4. What Happened in that Stairwell?

How Am I Doing?

A **Grey's Anatomy** fic by Gigi

**Disclaimer:** I hate to have to say it at the beginning of every fic, because it totally negates my philosophy of the power of positive thinking. If I constantly say I don't own Grey's Anatomy or Shonda-land, then how on Earth will I _ever_ come to own it?

Chapter 4: What Happened in that Stairwell?

**A/N: Yes, I realize I haven't updated this in eight months, and yes, I'm extremely sorry about that. But you should be proud of me for updating four this month (this included). That's a lot for me. Don't forget I'm in college, so please don't hate me!**

**A/N 2: This is for Juli. Hope this cheers you up after your transportation nightmare!**

Alex all but stomped into Ava's room with a glower on his face. As he walked to the bed and picked up Ava's chart, he couldn't help but replay that one confession over and over in his head.

"_There may have been a stolen five minutes in a stairwell with a certain member of said practice who got it in his head to make me feel better," Addison insinuated with a coy smile._

"Damn," Ava's voice broke through his jealous reverie. "What's got your panties in a wad?"

Alex's face darkened slightly before he looked up at his patient, who was sitting up in her bed. "Nothing," he grunted, taking note of her blood pressure and writing it in her chart along with the time.

Ava's eyes twinkled in excitement. "Ah, this is about Red," she surmised.

Alex whipped his head up at her words. "It is not," he denied.

"Why do you have this need to deny the fact that she's perfect for you?" Ava asked the ceiling exasperatedly. "It _is_ about Red, now spill."

Grumbling, Alex replaced the chart on the end of Ava's bed and braced himself against the railing. "Look, Addison doesn't want me anymore, Ava. She's got a bright and shiny new life without me just waiting for her. All it takes is a phone call, and she's gone forever. I don't _want_ to think about that, so _please_, Ava, drop the subject about Red. She doesn't want me, and that's that." Alex ended his speech almost panting.

Ava stared at Alex in silence for a few seconds before she declared, "God, men are stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"I said you're stupid, Alex," Ava repeated loudly. "Do you _not_ see that she wants you to chase her?"

Unable to help himself, Alex was listening. "What do you mean?" he asked gruffly.

"Dr. Montgomery wouldn't be over you after only a week, idiot," Ava announced tiredly. "She doesn't want to get a new life, otherwise she would have already gotten one. She _does_ still want you, provided you're not too dense to see that."

"And you know this how?"

"In case you've forgotten, I'm a woman, too."

"Then why can't you guys just tell us these things?" he demanded heatedly. "We're not mind readers!"

"But then where's the fun in that?" Ava countered. "Besides, it sticks more often than not if we do things our way. It's how I got my husband to finally propose to me."

A retort was on the tip of his tongue when he registered just what she said. "W-Wait, your husband?" he stammered. "You remember him?"

Surprisingly, a look of panic flashed across Ava's face. "No," she denied. "I don't know where that came from."

A bright smile bloomed on Alex's face. "That's okay," he reassured. "It happens like that sometimes. You're beginning to remember."

"I really don't think I am," Ava insisted. "It was just the one little detail."

Unfortunately, Alex was already down the hall by the time she finished her sentence.

**8D**

"Dr. Montgomery!" Alex's voice chased Addison down the hall, but she kept walking. Frustrated, Alex jogged to catch up with her and moved to take a gentle hold of her elbow when he saw she was speaking to someone on the phone.

Addison looked to her right to see an impatient Alex Karev walking beside her. "I've got to go, Naomi," she said into her cell. "I'll call you later. Love you, too. Give Maya a kiss for me. Bye." She ended the call and pocketed her BlackBerry. "Yes, Karev?"

Completely distracted, Alex heard himself asking, "Who's Naomi?"

"Not that it's really any of your business," Addison indicated pointedly, "but Naomi is who I visited in LA. We're still catching up with each other."

Alex stiffened. "The one who wants you to move down there?"

Maybe it wasn't exactly the nicest thing, but Addison inwardly smiled at hearing the tightness in his voice. Honestly, having Karev chase her for once was quite refreshing, and she couldn't stop herself from teasing, "Why, can't bear the thought of losing such an amazing teacher?"

Alex wanted to shake this woman so badly right then. Instead, he took her by the crook of her elbow and guided her into the nearest on-call room. "Tell me two more things about this trip that made you want to pick up your whole life and move there," he demanded. He'd get the contents of that trip if it killed him, but not before he'd found a way to counter those high points to make her _stay_.

Addison sighed and checked her watch. "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Why did that guy feel the need to cheer you up?"

_Going straight for the personal stuff, huh, Karev?_ She thought to herself. "I tend to get overly emotionally invested in my patients' cases," she explained. "There was a guardian battle going on that sent the patient into pre-term labor, and they didn't even care about how she and the baby were doing. All they wanted to know was who the father was. I just got upset by it is all."

Alex, maybe stupidly, said the first thing that came to his mind. "Those guys sound like jackasses."

Addison absentmindedly nodded her agreement. "I thought so, too, at the time. What else do you want to know?"

There was a beat of silence as Alex considered what to ask her. Of course, the obvious one slipped out of its own accord. "Why did you go to LA?"

Addison's face fell. Did she really want to share something so deeply personal with him? Especially after he tossed her out in the cold after just one night? He was probably just worried that he was the reason. Maybe she had been reading too much into his actions, and all he wanted was to clear his conscience? That thought disappointed Addison more than she'd have liked to admit. "Honestly?" He nodded. "It wasn't because of you, if that's what you were worried about."

Anger boiled up in Alex and threatened to suffocate him. "While I'm glad to know I _wasn't_ the one who finally drove you to leave," he ground out, "I genuinely want to know why you went to LA."

Okay, so maybe she had been wrong. His conscience was clear, and yet no relief showed on his face. He stood there with the most curious look in his eyes. Maybe he still wanted her? _Don't go down that road again, Addie_, she admonished herself.

"I wanted to have a baby, and Naomi's on of the best fertility specialists," she confessed, eyes glued to Alex's face to gauge his reaction. All she got was a pair of chocolate eyes widened in shock.

"D-Did you, did you…?" Alex's eyes trailed down to her flat stomach.

Addison shook her head sadly. "Turns out I have no fertility potential, and I ended up blubbering about my lack of eggs to Pete after I'd just met him."

"Pete?" Alex tried to keep the jealousy out of his voice, but judging by the way a small smirk made its way onto Addison's face, he wasn't very successful. "The guy from the stairwell." Addison nodded, even though it hadn't been a question. The next thing he said was one, though. "Do you like…Pete?"

Addison bit her lip in consternation. He was being awfully persistent. "I don't dislike him," she offered.

"That's not what I asked," Alex replied indignantly.

"Well, it's all you're getting," she shot back. "Only two things, remember?"

With an exasperated roll of his eyes, Alex let her out of the on-call room and resumed walking alongside her.

"Why are you still here, Karev?" Addison asked after a minute.

Alex wanted to smack himself in the forehead when he realized he'd completely forgotten Ava. "I think Ava's memory is coming back."

Addison stopped in her tracks. "Why do you think that?"

"She made a comment about how she finally got her husband to propose to her."

Addison felt the urge to smack her intern upside the head. "That's the type of thing you tell me _right away_, Karev!"

She settled for a punch to his arm.

**A/N: I hope you liked this latest update, and I hope this cheered you up, Juli! I also hope for one last thing: REVIEWS!**


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